TWO BROW OR NOT TWO BROW?

It's a Just For You
EXCLUSIVE!

from Sisters, in Iquitos, Peru

BARKING valleys penpusher Rachel Tressisszezise has claimed hairy faced women can kill with a single frown.
The daiquiri swilling lush, who thinks apostrophes were made up by flatcapped whippet eating scouser Niall Griffiths, made the mental bonkers outburst midway through glugging from a bottle of nicked rose - that pink plonk.
The 38-year-old slurred: "Women with monobrows are hard as fuck. Don't mess with them. But in men, it just means they love themselves."
Pals warned the blonde bombshell was making shit up as she went along.
But Tresssizzzeeee, 83, insisted:
"Well I was a bit worried about my gorgeous little two year old niece who's got a monobrow. and I was thinking about that girl in Dodgeball."
The wild eyed temptress added, crazily: "hahahahahahah"
Later, in a rare moment of clarity, she said: "38? Come on!"
But within moments she was ranting: "The female monobrow can paralyze you with one stare, and then KO you with her nipples."
After she mumbled something about working on the 'Friday Sabbath.' I don't know either.
But a man being sick at the bar said: "Do you think she'd mind if I called her Tresizzzzeeeeee Rascal?"